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You have made it past the erratic sleep schedules and the monthly changes in routines. You have seen your baby go from totally dependent on you to a professional explorer. You have done an amazing job momma. Now it is time for the toddler years.
The terrible twos might be a well-known phrase, but I am here to tell you that they are not so terrible. With the right toddler tips, you will see that there truly is nothing to fear about the toddler years.
Instead of trouble with breastfeeding, you might have trouble with potty training. Instead of erratic sleep, you might have difficulties transitioning to a toddler bed. Each phase has its own obstacles, but there are completely manageable with the right information.
Here are 17 simple toddler tips so you can enjoy these toddler years and see that they aren’t so terrible.
Toddler Tip 1 – Keep Activities Simple
It is easy to feel as if the only way to be a good mom is to be a Pinterest mom. That is not true. These toddler years are not full of Pinterest ideas. Your toddler does not need a 3-hour long activity to entertain them. Matter-of-fact, that would probably only result in a tantrum.
Your toddler’s attention span is very small. It will grow with them, but for now, use it to your advantage. The world is brand new to them every day. Go outside, and see the different rocks you can find. Drop color tablets into the bath and experiment with what color you can make. These are my son’s favorite!
Although it can be difficult at first, try to see the world through your toddler’s eyes. This will limit your stress and while you are at it, you may see how beautiful our world really is.
Toddler Tip 2 – Don’t Make Food a Big Deal
For months now you have been introducing new foods. Your toddler has determined what he likes and what he doesn’t. It may be frustrating to you that he won’t eat everything you offer. However, it is very important not to make mealtime a big deal.
Your toddler is going to refuse some food, and that is ok. Substitute the food with something of the same health value. Maybe reintroduce the food tomorrow or next week. Your toddler is growing quickly and changing quickly.
Mealtime should not turn into a power struggle. Your toddler is craving independence. Punishing your toddler for not wanting to eat something will only make the situation worse. Then when you try to introduce the food later on it is much less likely that he will be open to trying it.
Toddler Tip 3 – Offer Juice Last
Speaking about mealtime, let’s talk about juice. Why do toddlers, and really all kids, love juice? Because it is full of sugar, usually.
Obviously, this sugar could have many negative effects. Tantrums related to a sugar crash, damage to teeth, unnecessary calories with no health benefits, and deciding that juice is the only thing they will drink. So how to avoid this? Offer milk and water first.
Milk and water should be the go-to drinks. Every family has its own schedule, and maybe it is best for you to offer juice when you are eating out, when she stays with grandma, or on the weekends. Regardless, juice should be reserved for special occasions and your toddler should understand that milk and water are their main drinks.
Toddler Tip 4 – Follow the Leader
Your toddler is more imaginative than ever. By now, they probably have a playroom full of toys thanks to all the people that love them. You are likely to see your toddler playing with their toys incorrectly, but remember momma, it doesn’t matter.
As adults, we see specific purposes for the items in our life. It is natural for us to want to correct something that we see as wrong. For example, the sweet barbie doll is now being used as a paintbrush. That pretend screwdriver is now being used to cut your pretend pizza.
Let your toddler take the lead during playtime. Let their imagination sore and then you can watch how massive it can grow, even beyond the toddler years.
Toddler Tip 5 – Don’t Rush It
Whether it is potty training or moving to a toddler bed, there is no need to rush the process. Rushing anything with the growth of your toddler is only going to result in failure and therefore stress for you.
There are certain milestones your toddler must meet to be ready for the big transitions during these years. Every toddler meets these milestones, but at their own pace, and that is ok. You can always ask the pediatrician if they think your toddler is ready for the transition based on the milestones they have met.
You can see here that Dr. Ari Brown of Austin, author of Toddler 411 says not to worry. In fact, potty-training isn’t considered delayed until a child is four years old! “Your child will be ready when she’s ready. The two criteria for success: 1. Your child must be clued in to the urge to go, not clued in that she has already gone; and 2. Your child must want to be clean. No matter how many M&M’s you give her, it will not happen without the desire to be clean.”
Download 6 FREE potty charts to enjoy potty training with your little one. Use your toddler’s favorite stickers, or check off each box when your little one uses the potty!
Toddler Tip 6 – Toddler-Proof Your Home
You have realized by now that your toddler loves nothing more than exploring. She wants to see what new things she can learn, find, and do today. This can easily become stressful as you worry about the safety of your little explorer.
The constant worry about your toddler’s safety can really ruin the day. An easy way to fix this is to toddler-proof your home. It is probably already baby-proofed with plug covers in the wall and safety locks in place, but let’s take it one step further.
Toddler proofing is all about figuring out what your toddler’s next adventure is and adjusting your home as needed. For example, your toddler continues to get the sharpies down from the counter. This is an everyday occurrence and “no” doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. Limit your stress momma and move the sharpies. I promise this phase will pass, all too soon, and you can put things back in perfect order like they were before.
Toddler Tip 7 – Prioritize The Rules
There will be many times you correct your toddler’s behavior. This will be the start of many different rules to be set in place. These rules can be anything from don’t eat Play-Doh, to don’t jump on the bed, to don’t draw on the furniture.
These rules are all brand new to your toddler and can be quite overwhelming. Like anything, when your toddler is overwhelmed, tantrums can be expected to follow.
It is important for you to prioritize your rules to give your toddler a bit of freedom to explore and avoid tantrums. Focus on safety first. Drawing on the furniture is most definitely not something moms want, but more concerning is a broken arm from falling off the bed.
Toddler Tip 8 – Affection Over Disapproval
As stated above, there will be many times when your toddler needs some correction and guidance. Part of your toddler learning these new rules is showing disapproval in behavior. However, disapproval should never be shown more than affection.
Every toddler does more good than bad. Every good momma loves their toddler no matter what crazy thing they did today. It is important for your toddler to start to see the unconditional love you have for them so you can continue to be a safe place.
They should be able to come to you when they are scared or upset and you should still be able to effectively correct their behavior when needed. This balance is not always easy to find, but it is key to a healthy momma-toddler relationship.
Toddler Tip 9 – Don’t Be Scared to Say Yes
Unfortunately, you will find yourself saying “no” a lot during these toddler years. It is of course to keep your toddler safe and on the right track to guide them through the rest of their childhood. However, there are times where saying yes is more than ok.
Every momma loves a good routine and schedule when she finds it. That makes it even more difficult to venture off the schedule. However, it could be amazing. If it is Wednesday and your toddler wants pizza in a blanket fort while watching paw-patrol, say yes and go for it! If your toddler wants to get creative and ask to do your makeup, say yes and go for it.
These things won’t hurt anyone or anything. So what if you went off routine today, you and your toddler are making amazing memories. They are loving that their momma is interested in what they want to do and that they get to practice their independence.
Toddler Tip 10 – Tantrums Will Happen
It is best to accept the fact that tantrums will happen. You should be concerned if tantrums didn’t happen. This is part of your toddler maturing into a beautiful young child. Tantrums are part of them testing limits and understanding boundaries.
Without limits and boundaries, your toddler becomes confused and therefore anxious. This is a very big feeling for such a little person and that will only create more outbursts. So accept that tantrums are a part of your toddler’s journey and take time to understand your toddler’s tantrums better.
Through understanding your toddler’s tantrums, you are able to limit them and therefore limit the stress you feel as well. Read on for more tips on limiting tantrums.
Toddler Tip 11 – Offer Choices
You have probably realized by now how important independence is to your toddler. They are wanting to experiment with their world and see what they can do for themselves.
This can often cause tantrums because it is easy for us moms to unintentionally take away their independence. We pick out what clothes they are going to wear for the day. We determine where they are going and what activities they will do. We determine what they will eat. Obviously, we have to do this simply for their well-being, but we could compromise on a few things.
Try laying out 2 different outfits for your toddler to choose from. Try offering 2 different breakfast options. Give ideas of 2 different activities to choose from. This allows for you to remain in control of their well-being while also giving your toddler a chance to practice their independence.
Toddler Tip 12 – Have a Routine
Routines are very important, but also can become stressful when not used effectively. Let’s first talk about why they are so important.
Routines give structure not only to the day but to your life and your toddler’s world. This creates obtainable goals and expectations for all. Without a routine, your toddler would have a greater amount of stress due to the constant unknown. It is important for your toddler to know when it is mealtime, naptime, and playtime. They can then know what is expected of them during these times.
However, routines can create stress when they are not flexible. Every day does not go as planned, most have unplanned events such as drop by visitors or a weekend adventure. It is important to create a routine that is flexible so it can be used effectively and limit stress, not create stress.
Read more here about Limiting Daily Stress.
Toddler Tip 13 – Consistent Consequences
Part of your toddler learning the limits in their world is having consequences for their behavior. Consequences are how your toddler determines right from wrong. Although it would be much nicer if all we had to say was no, that is not realistic.
Here are 4 different types of consequences discussed by the Mayo Clinic:
Natural Consequences. Allows your toddler to see the effects of their actions. For example, throwing and breaking a toy which results in them not having that toy to play with anymore.
Logical consequences. Creating a consequence that aligns with your toddler’s actions. For example, your toddler is refusing to help clean up their toys, therefore they will not be able to play with these toys later today.
Withholding Privileges. Taking away something your child values. For example, they are choosing not to listen to simple instructions during activities, therefore their favorite coloring book will be taken away.
Timeouts. When your child acts out, calmly get down to their level, and explain why their behavior is unacceptable. If they continue to act out, find a quiet place with no distractions and enforce the timeout until your toddler is calm and can listen.
Toddler Tip 14 – Be a Good Example
Your toddler is watching every move you make. You are their example of what to do in this new big world. They are watching how you choose to react to situations so they can learn what is expected of them.
You are an amazing mom, but that doesn’t mean you are perfect, and you don’t have to be. It takes time and lots of practice to remember there are little eyes on you at all times. It takes an extra minute out of your day to remember to act how you want your toddler to act.
This is not easy, but can truly make a difference. It is not effective to tell a child “Do what I say, not as I do.” They need real examples and you are the strongest influence they will ever get. So take just a minute and try to be the best example you can be.
Toddler Tip 15 – Communicate
Communication is key. This goes for any relationship whether it is a marriage or your relationship with your toddler. It is important for there to be listening on both ends and communication open. This sets the foundation of communication throughout the rest of your parenting journey.
While your toddler is still learning to put those sentences together, continue to narrate your day. While driving talk about what you see and when you are home, talk about what you are doing. Communication does wonders for your toddler’s speech development.
When your toddler is able to talk about their day, ask them details about it. Ask what made them happy, what made them sad. Get to know your toddler more and more every day and get to know more about their feelings. Then, if able, talk about what they did with these feelings and provide guidance when needed.
Toddler Tip 16 – Embrace the Mess
Messes are going to happen. How would your toddler learn without making a mess? This can be stressful, but it will make it a lot easier for you if you are able to embrace the mess.
First, you can do all you can to avoid the big messes such as milk on the carpet and marker on the walls, but those little messes will still happen. Food will be dropped, drinks will be spilled, toys will be scattered and water will splash out of the tub. However, you can use these moments to your benefit.
Teach your toddler how to avoid messes. Teach your toddler how to clean up after themself. Teach your toddler how to remain calm when they make a mess. The best teaching moment is when you are the one that makes the mess and you are able to remain calm and clean up. Be that good example for your toddler.
Toddler Tip 17 – Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself
The toddler years are overwhelming for everyone. They can easily become stressful with the many new changes. However, they can also be so exciting and filled with some of the best memories.
It will be easy at times to think you are failing and you could do better. Remember that you are doing the best you know how. Every momma wants to be better at something and you have what that mom wants.
Toddlers aren’t always easy, but they aren’t so terrible either. Take it day-by-day and learn a lesson from each day. You and your toddler will begin to know each other better and therefore making your toddler years some of the best.
Putting It All Together
Take some time to reflect on what tip you are already a pro at. Think about which tip you could incorporate today. They might call it the terrible twos, but I am confident you will find out that they truly are not so terrible after all.
Leave a comment suggesting any new tips or to discuss the ones above. Don’t forget to get the 6 FREE potty charts as well. You are doing amazing!
Download 6 FREE potty charts to enjoy potty training with your little one. Use your toddler’s favorite stickers, or check off each box when your little one uses the potty!
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